Cats broke my heart 💔 for 3rd time

For some reason, I always liked cats and hated dogs. Maybe it's due to the influence of my mom. Maybe it's not just influence, there are more logical reasons as well because dogs never seem to be afraid of humans. They also seem so strong that they can easily bite off a man. Oppositely cats are way too small and they are completely afraid of humans. Also compared to dogs, cats are the cleanest. They clean themselves regularly also they are very independent. Nevertheless, dogs might still be the best friend to humans. but I was always afraid of dogs and their energy. I also feel like the humans who can handle the abundant energy of a big-sized dog can even pet a small-sized bear.

so here comes a Kid in me, who always tried to lure stray cats by doing this 'pspsps' sound whenever they are around, but never had luck. Even sometimes I used to throw food at them but They always used to run away from me. Until...

2008 (May)

I just finished my 10th exams and went to stay in Anantapur (my grandma's place). The first time a cat heard me and came to me to get petted. It had white color and a few brown stripes. That was like one of the most lovable moments in my life. I stayed in Anantapur for like 30 days and every day I used to play with it. Cat used to love me as I used to feed it. Then I left Anantapur and came to IIIT and even in calls with my Grandma I used to enquire about that cat's whereabouts. I was actually pumped to go to Anantapur back again for the Dasara holidays to play with it. That's some excitement actually.  But when I was just about to start to Anantapur for the Dasara holidays, my mother told me that the cat died a day or two after I left Anantapur. That was like a jolt to younger me. I was just in shock and asked how it happened. Once I left, the cat used to stay with my Grandma and one day she went to the road for vegetables and that poor kitty followed her to the road. While my Grandma was picking up vegetables, suddenly a bulky dog just whipped away the cat and ran away with it. That dog was actually a cat-eating dog, which most of the dogs never do. My family was lying to me as that news might break my heart. so That cat had a sad ending and that broke my heart for the first time. My love stayed just for 30 days. 

Later for many years, no cat cared my psps or my food or anything. Until 

2022 (February)

I was in Phirangipuram and was actually feeling alone as my wife left her home due to pregnancy. Days were passing by too slowly for me and one day, a cat appeared in front of my house. I called her and it listened to me. I quickly fed it with curd. Starting from that day, that cat loved us. It literally used to rub around us. It used to demand us for petting. It used to come thrice a day to us and demanded food and cuddles. Days passed by like that for 3 weeks. I was so happy.

Here comes the villain in the story, who is also a cat. I call that cat "Goonda Pilli". That cat stays just behind our home. It never comes close to Humans and it looks bulky, strong, and old. I just see that cat like Share Khan in Jungle book. Cats are territorial in nature, which means they feel like this is my land and no one should enter my land. Unfortunately, my home falls under Goonda Pilli's territory.  We never fed it and we also tried to threaten it but it never feared us. Goonda Pilli hated our cat as it entered its territory. It used to fight with our cat whenever we are not around. 

One day evening, Goonda Pilli brutally attacked our cat and my father observed that went to save the cat. Seeing my father, both Goonda pilli and our cat ran away out of fear. Marking from that time, our cat never came back home. It seems like our cat got permanently afraid of Goonda Pilli and flew away forever. That was the most heartbreaking moment for me. After 14 years that's the first cat that stayed so close to us. I used to search for it like a mad guy. I even bought cat food and kept it outside of my home hoping that one day that cat will come back smelling that food. I googled and read through articles on how to get a lost cat back and I used to play sounds. But nothing succeeded. I was actually feeling depressed and went to my wife's place. I thought there would be no cat coming to us so close. Until

2022 (June)

After my heartbreak with my previous cat, I purchased a lot of cat food and used to spill it in front of my home like a madman. People who see me at that time definitely will think of me as a cat maniac. One fine day in April around 10.30pm a very small kitten came to my house door and started meowing so loudly. I went outside and found it eating the cat food. When I went outside it ran away. That kitten didn't return back for a couple of days and I went to my wife's place as planned earlier. After I went to my wife's place, that small kitten started coming to my house for food. I asked my mother to feed it with cat food. From that point around April 2022, Kitten used to come on and off to my home. 

I came from my wife's place in June 2022. That was time first time I saw this kitten. It quietly sat under the bike. It looked so timid. It looked weak. I immediately sensed that it is definitely a very weak cat. 

We fed it regularly and it used to come home thrice a day. It never let us pet it. But it wanted to stay near us. Almost the whole day it used to sleep in my house. Eat at my house. I named it Lord the cat. Because at times it used to make us feel like we are its servants and it is a lord. It went happily for like 2 months. I felt like this cat will become an old cat here itself. Until

August 2nd night 10.30pm. I was about to sleep. It was raining so heavily and I heard some cat screaming and dogs barking. Cat screaming and struggling sound came literally for a minute and then it went silent. Immediately pessimist in me thought 'is it our cat?' Then the optimist in me said, 'hell no. There are 3 cats around here. It can be any of those 3. I went outside for checking and I could see nothing so I slept peacefully. 

Then from the next day (August 3rd) onwards, our cat didn't appear. Continuously for 60days it always used to stay in my house perimeter for most of the time. But now for the last 2 days, it is not there anywhere. All remaining cats were appearing except Lord the cat. This broke my heart. I thought it is the Lord the cat who died in the hands of dogs. Lord was so weak even to fight with other cats. I used to see that it used surrender in fighting with other cats as well. But seems Dogs thrashed it away with no mercy. This grew my hatred towards dogs more. 

This is my 3rd heartbreak with cats. I again want to buy cat food and pet any stray cat but don't know if any cat would ever come to me again as cats are so standoffish from humans. As I was going through this pain, My mother was telling me a story that happened in my child which I couldn't remember at all. 

In my childhood, there used to be a small kitten in my home which used to cuddle around me. That kitten used to love me and come to me. But kid me used to throw that Kitten away. No matter how many times I threw it away it still used to come back to me. Now it looks like God cursed me back then saying "Dude you are going to run behind cats in future and they are going to throw you away"  

Now I'm going to apologize to God and the cat community Hope some cat gonna come to me in the future and stay with me for years and years soon. 

I know that this world is suffering from a lot of bigger problems and pain and this pain is so silly compared to those. But Lord the cat who is so timid and weak by nature shouldn't have this kind of ending to its life. If a brave one dies in wild, we might assume it is like death in war. But if a timid and little one dies in rough, it's a bitter pill to swallow. 

RIP Lord. Hope you Rest in Peace and love in eternity.